Thursday, November 8, 2012


[This particular script is actually older than the previous few; it was written immediately before "Black Magic Mastiff."  The unintended similarity between the ending of this story and of "Black Magic Mastiff" is what caused me to hesitate to upload both scripts, but I've ultimately decided that both scripts are unique enough to be worth reading, in spite of that gaff of writing two stories in a row that make use of a similar resolution.  I'll try to be a little more original from now on!]

(5 Page Script, Genre:  Fantasy/Humor)


Page One 

Panel 1.  ELENA and ZAM barrel down the side of a hill covered in fruit-bearing trees, a massive four-legged beast chasing after them.  Elena wears a regal dress of ornate make that is completely inappropriate for a jaunt through the countryside, and she holds up the bottom of the dress with her hands so as not to dirty it.  Her tall, expensive boots are more terrain-friendly, and a bow places her brunette hair into a long pony tail, so practicality is not entirely lost on her.  Zam is clad in a simple green cotton jacket over a plain white undershirt, with comfortable brown trousers held up by a tied rope and sturdy boots.  In his left hand is a common short sword, while a large, ripe fruit resembling an orange takes center stage in his right hand.  Pieces of fruit and a significant amount of the fruit’s juice are plastered to Zam’s face from having recently taken a bite out of it.  He has short black hair, and his eyes never betray a hint of fear, in spite of the circumstances.  Elena and Zam are both in their mid-twenties.  The beast is twice Zam’s height on all-fours, with a lion’s mane and a head like a warthog.  It has claws the size of Zam’s head, and its tail functions like a huge and furry club, perhaps knocking over a tree as it wags.  It is noontime. 

I thought you said you were a licensed monster hunter! 

2 ZAM:
Did I say licensed?  I meant to say licentious!

Panel 2.  Pan in on Elena and Zam enough that we can’t see them from the waist down.  Elena is clearly anxious about their predicament, whereas Zam is utterly insouciant.  The excessive juiciness of the fruit in his hand should be highlighted, as it will become a plot point in the immediate future.

What manner of buffoon consents to slay a beast that large without proper training? 

4 ZAM:
Who says I haven’t been properly trained? 

Panel 3.  Pull out to find a large stain around Zam’s crotch, intimating that Zam has basically peed his pants from fright.  In actuality, it’s just juice from the fruit that has spilled onto his crotch, but Elena (and hopefully the reader) mistakes it for a heaping helping of urine.  She points to the stain with disdain while still holding her dress up.  Zam looks down to observe the blotch himself. 

The fresh stain on your trousers makes for a compelling witness.

Panel 4.  Zam plays along with her mistaken belief.  Running from this beast is little more than a game to him, and even though we can see the beast in a frenzy not too far behind him, Zam certainly isn’t worried about it.

6 ZAM:
Hardly!  My crotch will do anything to draw a woman’s attention.

Page Two

Panel 1.  Flashback illustration, which Zam continues to talk over in the present through narration boxes.  We see Elena and Zam at the doorstep of Elena’s large, expensive home that could double for a Tsar’s summer home.  Elena holds up a crude drawing of the beast that is chasing them in the present, with a circle around its stomach region, indicating its stomach is the reason for the hunt.  Zam gives her a thumbs-up, suggesting his agreement to go out and kill the creature.  For context, Zam is a passing vagabond who has heard of Elena’s need for a monster hunter.

1 ZAM (narration box):
“Look, when a beautiful lady offers to pay me to stick a blade in something, who am I to say no?

2 ZAM (narration box):
“One good jab can lead to another.”

Panel 2.  Back to Elena and Zam running, now so engrossed in their inane conversation that they are no longer paying any attention to their surroundings, especially not what is up ahead of them.

Do you truly believe you can bed me after having soiled your undergarments?

4 ZAM:
I seldom retain the use of undergarments during my lovemaking.  Is that unusual?

Panel 3.  Elena, now looking forward again, suddenly pulls back hard on the bottom of her dress, as if trying to pull back the reins of a chariot to avert a collision.  We can’t yet see what’s in front of her that causes her to stop in her tracks.

You are unusual, and--

Oh, look out!

Panel 4.  A river.  A narrow river is the thing in front of Elena that has caused her to panic, but her velocity up till now has been too great, and now she and Zam both fall straight into it (sound effect).  The beast is still raging toward them all the same, though it has not hit water yet.

7 SFX:

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

"Love and War"

(5 Page Script, Genre:  Humor/Romance)

“Love and War”

Page One

Panel 1.  High schooler SAM JENKINS almost strangles the rose in his hands as he holds it out in front of him, eyes wincing with anxiety and facing toward the floor.  He wears a typical t-shirt and blue jeans, and though he’s not particularly remarkable in appearance, there’s a handsomeness to him.  Bathroom stalls are behind him, though it should not be extraordinarily apparent Sam is in a high school bathroom quite yet.

1 SAM:
Amy Andrews, will you, um, go to prom with me?

Panel 2.  Reverse the angle to show that Sam is in front of the bathroom mirror, apparently trying to offer his reflection a rose.  His body is locked in the same awkward position.  Now it is pretty obvious we are in a bathroom.  There is a potted cactus roughly the height of a teenage girl in one corner of the room.  No dialogue.

Panel 3.  Sam’s eyes widen with surprise and his posture turns stiffly erect as he reacts to an unexpected response that comes from inside one of the closed stalls.  At the same time, we hear a flush from inside that stall.  The tail of the one-word word balloon should be pointing to the stall door.


3 SFX:
Panel 4.  The stall door opens to reveal OMAR BASTION, who is tall and muscular enough to resemble a young, black Hercules.  He points a thumb at himself with a big, toothy grin and his head cocked back, while his other hand has swung open the door.  His sleeveless white shirt literally outlines his physique even further, and he wears jeans held up by a belt with a fat gleaming buckle.  Maybe go with a worm’s eye view with this shot to best establish the physical and social enormity of the character. 

Amy would rather go with a winner, and his name is Omar Bastion!

Page Two 

Panel 1.  Sam makes way for Omar as Omar struts to the sink.  Sam slouches in dismay so much that you’d think he was trying to duck a cannonball. 

1 SAM:
You?  But you’re so popular that the cafeteria named a sandwich after you.

2 SAM (connected):
I wouldn’t think you’d even notice someone quiet like Amy.

Panel 2.  Omar smiles at himself in the mirror as he talks and washes his hands.

You crazy?  Eagle eyes like these don’t ever miss a fox like that.

4 OMAR (connected):
I mean, I haven’t actually asked her yet, but with you for competition, what’s the rush?

Panel 3.  Omar suddenly spazzes out, water flinging off his wet hands which have assumed unnatural, angular positions.  His eyes cross and his arms contort as he leans his head and neck in opposing directions.  This is his Sam impression.  Sam grimaces at the undesirable assessment.  The sink has been shut off.

Uh, Amy, uh, go to prom with me!  I’ve got no backbone, so we’ll get handicap parking!

Panel 4.  Omar turns his back to Sam as he walks toward the potted cactus in the corner.  He raises one condescending finger as he goes (to clarify, his forefinger, definitely not his middle finger).  Sam hunches forward, having become curious at what Omar’s doing.

6 SAM:
Was it that bad?

Worse!  You couldn’t smooth talk your mama for the TV remote with game that busted.

Panel 5.  Omar gestures toward the cactus as if he were showing off a super model or a brand new car.  Sam, now standing near Omar again, puts a hand to his chin.  Don’t forget that he still has his rose.

Say, what do you see right now?

9 SAM:
An illogically-placed cactus?

10 OMAR:
Wrong again.  I see a fine lady that I’m just crazy about.  Watch how a man works.