"Funeralfest"

(5 Page Script, Genre: Humor)

"Funeralfest"

PAGE ONE (4 panels)

Panel 1. A nameless MAN stands before an open casket inside a church, staring with awe at the dead old man inside. WES, a local news reporter, watches this man with intense and hopeful interest. Wes has a stylus and a tablet in his hands, and he wears the stereotypical “press” hat. He sits in the front row of pews to get the best view of the action. The church is a packed house, and all of the people present are bizarrely cheerful, as far as funerals go. A second nameless DUDE stands beside the first nameless man; he’s only here to be used as a visual gag in the next panel though. The dead man is in a very expensive suit, and the casket looks pretty classy.

1 MAN: I can’t believe he’s really gone--

Panel 2. The nameless man’s expression changes to total elation as he high-fives the nameless dude. But in spite of the high-five, the nameless man is actually facing us, the readers, for maximum silly effect. Wes rolls his eyes and slumps his shoulders with disappointment.

2 MAN: --This is the happiest day of my life!

Panel 3. (This panel and Panel 4 should ideally be side-by-side in a row.) Wes extends his hands out to his sides, frustrated. The tablet is in his lap now, but he’s still holding the stylus in his right hand. The other hand is pointing a thumb toward something in Panel 4. Wes isn’t talking to anybody in particular, though people give him odd stares.

3 WES: Oh, come on! Doesn’t anybody have a fond memory of this chump?

4 WES (connected): And what’s the deal with the photo they picked out for him?

Panel 4. A blown-up photo of the dead man is on display near the casket, from when the man was a little younger. In the photo, he is threatening a child with a knife. A SKINNY GUY next to the photo shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly.

5 SKINNY GUY: It was the best picture we had.
 
PAGE TWO (5 panels)

Panel 1. NINA, an early 20s young woman, leans forward in her pew directly behind Wes. She has spunky hair but is otherwise appropriately dressed for a funeral. We’ll soon find out she’s the deceased’s granddaughter. Wes tips his hat to Nina.

1 NINA: What’s it to you anyway, pal? If these people wanna make light of the old-timer, it’s no skin off your nose.

2 WES: Maybe, maybe not, miss. The boss says my writing is too sensational.

3 WES (connected): I came here angling to pump a human interest story out of this sad sack.

Panel 2. Bird’s-eye view of the room, looking down on the chirpy funeral-goers. A few shirtless people in shorts are knocking around a beach ball in the pews. Some people are wearing party hats. There is a couple making out against a wall. Feel free to add in any other horrible things you can think of. Wes and Nina just stare at the spectacle.

4 WES: Instead, I show up to find I’m covering spring break.

Panel 3. Nina has a bittersweet smile, eyes narrowed.

5 NINA: Yeah, grandpa always did have a way of bringing out the best in people.

Panel 4. Wes lights up, eyes bulging to inspect Nina.

6 WES: Grandpa?

Panel 5. Wes extends an excited hand to Nina.

7 WES: Hello, meal ticket! The name is Wes.

8 WES (connected): Now get all weepy and tell me about the time he bought you a bunny!
 

"I Dream of Demon"

(8 Page Script, Genre: Horror)

"I Dream of Demon"

 

PAGE ONE (4 panels)

Panel 1. A discarded newspaper on the sidewalk outside an apartment building, night time. The headline on the paper reads “INSOMNIA EPIDEMIC SWEEPS CITY.”

1 CAPTION (NAOMI): “I smiled at you because you’re a dreamer.”

Panel 2. Inside JASON’s moonlit bedroom at his apartment. He is in bed with NAOMI, and they are both naked under the sheets. Jason is visibly fat but not ghastly to look at. Naomi by comparison is bodacious, curvy everywhere and stacked up top. She’s your favorite brunette Playboy Playmate. Jason looks a little amazed, but Naomi is relaxed. The bedroom is a mess, but there is a poster of a dragon on the wall.

2 JASON: A dreamer? You could tell something like that from across the bar?

3 NAOMI: Call it a sixth sense.

Panel 3. Jason puts a hand on Naomi’s cheek, smirking. She stares at his hand.

4 JASON: Well now that you’ve seen my apartment, you know dreams are all I’ve got.

5 JASON (connected): That and a bad case of chivalry.

6 NAOMI: Good thing I don’t ask for much then.

Panel 4. Naomi rolls over to face away from Jason, who is leaning on one elbow now. Naomi looks distressed as she faces us, the readers, but Jason is calm and happy.

7 NAOMI: But I am going to ask you to shut up and go to sleep.

8 JASON: Isn’t it usually the guy who doesn’t want to cuddle afterward?

9 NAOMI: I’m not as cuddly as I look.

PAGE TWO (5 panels)

Panel 1. A horizontal panel of solid black, to indicate a time gap. No dialogue.

Panel 2. Jason is punching out a lizard man on top of a mountain in the daytime. Obviously, this is a dream. Jason is wearing medieval armor, and the lizard man isn’t wearing anything because he’s a lizard man. A bunch of mini-lizard men are comically fleeing at the sight of their leader being defeated. A woman wearing a cloak stands behind Jason, hunched over with her face obscured (it’s Naomi). She is noticeably handcuffed. Literal, full-sized castles float high in the sky above them. A pair of dice is emblazoned on Jason’s breastplate.

1 JASON: For the last time, Lizard Lord--

2 JASON (connected): --kidnapping is not how you find a wife!

Panel 3. Jason takes Naomi by the shoulders with a smile, but her head is still down so we can’t see her face. The lizard man is unconscious and the mini-lizard men are fading off into the distance.

3 JASON: Don’t worry. You’re safe now, miss.

4 NAOMI: Do you always play the hero in your dreams?

5 JASON: Do I what?

Panel 4. Naomi looks up at him with an intense stare. Jason is startled at the sight.

6 NAOMI: I can see why it chose you.

7 JASON: Naomi! How did Lizard Lord--

8 JASON (connected): --Oh, wait, I’m asleep, huh?

Panel 5. Naomi cringes, nearly on the verge of tears.

9 NAOMI: Yes, Jason. Maybe for the last time.

Machine Winter #0

(11 Page Script, Genre: Sci-Fi)

Machine Winter #0

PAGE ONE (3 panels)

Panel 1. A wide shot on a barren white landscape, noon time. Even now it continues to snow. A ragged knitted doll missing an eye sits in the foreground, indicating we are not in the Arctic or any other naturally cold place. There are three objects in the background, but at this distance, they appear as little more than dots. Also very far away is a farm silo. No dialogue.

Panel 2. Closer in on the three objects. They are mobile and leaving tracks in the snow, though their identities are still indiscernible. They are draped in torn black cloaks that cover their heads and bodies. No dialogue.

Panel 3. Close-up frontal shot of the three objects, which of course turn out to be robots. The three robots stare right at us, the readers, with haunting, glowing eyes. They trudge on in dreary silence, their heads and shoulders uniformly hunched forward toward us. The specific details of their bodies are not yet apparent, as the black cloaks still cover them, but one of the robots not in the middle is a lot chunkier than the other two. The one in the middle is the tallest. These robots will turn out to be the good guys, but for now, there’s no reason why we can’t spook the reader with this cool visual. No dialogue.

PAGE TWO (4 panels)

Panel 1. The robot in the middle stops to analyze his surroundings. He stands strong and erect to demonstrate his leadership role, but the cloak still covers his body for now. Let’s call this guy TRIGGER. The other two robots, still hunched over, look to him for direction. We’ll call the chunky robot NOVA. The other robot who so far remains non-descript will be called LIGHT.

1 TRIGGER:
There are three of them.

Panel 2. Although they are attempting to have a “normal human” conversation, none of them can replicate human mannerisms very well. They tend to stand still as they talk, which, to be fair, helps them to conserve energy. Light, however, will lean forward or backward when he speaks, or he might raise a hand. He tries to be animated, even though he understands such movement is arbitrary.

2 LIGHT:
Three! What are the odds?

3 TRIGGER:
Odds are incalculable due to insufficient data.

4 LIGHT:
It was just a figure of speech.

Panel 3. Nova holds his waist. His thick, round body is hinted at by the way his cloak hangs. He was originally designed to work with power generators, and as a result, he processes and uses energy much more efficiently than other robots. If starved of power sources, Nova will outlive his comrades by a long margin. In spite of that, since Nova’s natural function involves power generation, he obsesses over locating power sources more than his comrades. His waist is where his excessive energy supply is centralized.

5 NOVA:
Oh, my circuits churn at the prospect of three. I am so hungry.

Panel 4. Trigger points a finger toward the farm silo, which is damaged on top but still standing amidst the snow. There is a long, winding gash along its wall that begins from the top and travels all the way down to the bottom, providing a means of foot access without needing to climb its ladder.

6 TRIGGER:
Your girth belies your fragility, Nova.

7 TRIGGER (connected):
At any rate, our destination appears yet undisturbed. It bodes well if we are the first to come across it.